03. My Burden

Thinking back on where I started, a lot of what I have learned about business has been things like organizational structure, administrative delegation, and leadership development. In between those lessons were times of great joy, but also deep sadness. It’s 12:11am on a Thursday morning and of course I’m tossing and turning in my bed because of my thoughts. It only seems right that I get up and write.

Most nights, the thoughts that keep me up are questions like “what could I be doing better?” or “am I working hard enough?” Other nights I will be riddled with thoughts of my what my next big idea could be, as aimless wanderings float through my brain. At times, like a fisherman on a lake, I’ll get a bite. If I tug at the reel strategically and bite my lip just right, paired with a dash of patience, that bite may just turn into a rational idea. The last thing that idea will do at this point is lull me to sleep. In a subtle fit of excitement, every other thought falls by the wayside and I begin the process of questioning my idea to the bone.

An old logo of a still fresh idea that I'd love to pursue. @_entrejourney
I didn’t have the experience or resources, so I had someone (whom I can’t remember) design this for me back in 2007, I believe. This was as far as I got with it at the time.

Of all the ideas I’ve had over the years that I’ve truly put forth the effort to flesh out, I believe I have a folder for each of the four or five ideas that made it to the logo phase at the very least. The very first idea I came up with is actually still floating in the back of my mind as a very big possibility of being successful. I call it “Love In The Fire,” which was a mentorship-based mission I felt called to pursue ten years ago. I found myself looking back on my middle and high school years and realized that I was quite the hell raiser (more on that later). Knowing that I had a deeply rooted faith that may reveal itself on occasion as an important part of my daily life, maybe it was God that was whispering to me to use this idea as a way to reach out to teenagers who had maybe stepped off the beaten path and found themselves in a bad place.

I had the dream to start this as a nonprofit organization and get out around town to shake as many hands as I possibly could to try and get my name out there. I just knew that if there were men and women like my parents, who were loving and successful and cared about their children, they’d see that what I wanted to do was to be an advocate in their corner. I want to dedicate my life to serving those families with impactful resources and loving support during those hard times in dealing with teenaged children who were losing their way in this world.

Yes, the passion is still burning there. The more that time passes, the more I see people, even much older, who have emotional scars and stories of hurt and abandonment written all over their faces. The more I see those faces, the more I sense the sharp poking at my heart. I see it as God saying to me, “you may not be ready to undertake this just yet, but keep your heart soft for those coming behind you. They will need what I have to offer through you, when the time is right.” That’s a heavy burden to bear for however long it takes until God decides that you’re ready for His call.

In the meantime, that tells me that I need to just put my focus in what is right in front of me and give it my all. If I’m to be transparent with you, I don’t know if I believe the statement, “Opportunities will always be around,” because the decisions you make and the direction you choose will likely dictate the volume of opportunities that you are faced with. The lack of intentionality you place on your pursuits and dreams will also weigh heavily on what the future may hold. It’s because of this that we need to make the most of every chance we’re given and to give 100% of ourselves to the life we have. Then and only then will we be able to truly meet success and have a prosperous life.

What’s your burden? What are you doing about it?

I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders.” ~Jewish Proverb (what a powerful thought, right??)

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