One major thing I’ve discovered in writing this blog is that I’m not going to be successful with it unless I start. However, once I got it started, I realized that my commitment had to be unwavering. When you think about starting something, no matter what it is, you’re doing so because you likely want to make a difference somehow. In the case of Entrejourney, being transparent about my struggles and the journey that I’ve embarked on, I had a sense that I would be talking about things here that would be uncomfortable (or awkward or embarrassing). What I didn’t know in the beginning was how much so that would be. I have found this to be more true in the process of writing my first book because I go into greater detail about certain parts of my story than I have been known to do here.
Regardless, my intention and goal was to connect with you in a way that you typically don’t experience. To do that, I’ve tried to share some of my horror stories, as well as the glorious victories I’ve experienced, and help you to see that none of us are “all alone” in this world. I want you see that it’s not a bad thing to be open with other people about your fears, worries, shortcomings, whatever. Of course, you have to be careful who you do this with, because not every relationship is a safe haven for that type of communication. It’s important that you gauge the levels of trust and rapport that you are building or have built with a certain person.
For those people in your life that are sure to stand by you, through the good and the bad, what is standing in your way of creating a new layer of connection with that person? If a relationship is going to live up to its fullest potential, you both have to take advantage of that added layer of security and really open yourself up to them, flaws and all.
Practically speaking, it’s not something that “just happens.” First of all, if you’re a guy and all you do when you get together is talk about sports and UFC and guns and other macho-manly things while drinking a few beers, you can probably guess that, ten years from now, if you’re still hanging out, that might very well be all you ever do. I don’t want to single out the guys, nor do I want to pick on them, but I’m a guy and I’ve been friends with many guys over the years and have found it hard to permeate that masculine layer. Even worse, many guys (like my younger brother, for example) will tell you straight up that they don’t like to “talk” much. They’ll talk until they’re blue in the face about football stats, scores, or the new gun safe they bought to store their large firearm collection that they need in the event of a zombie apocalypse 🤦🏼♂️🤔 but ask them their thoughts about what to do when their wife or girlfriend is constantly telling them to clean the kitchen or go with them to a couple’s spin class,… well, it doesn’t end well. Assuming the conversation even gets off the ground.
Guys, we’re not fooling anyone. We’ve all cried over something that affected us deeply, whether it be the death of a close family member or friend. We’ve all watched a chick flick because it made us feel hopeful about our own life. We’ve all felt sympathy for a friend that was just diagnosed with cancer and wanted to hug them or offer to pray for their treatment process and hope that it goes well.
Whatever the case may be, we’re human and we need to embrace our ability to have deeper connections with other guys, or women. (I won’t go into the boundaries issue, but you can find some insight about having “guardrails” to protect you from getting into a compromising situation with a person of the opposite sex in a previous post found here.) Don’t let the fact that you have a growing list of failures or feelings of inadequacy stop you from conquering the weaker areas of your life because you want to maintain a tough exterior persona.
I’ve reached a place in my life, after years of soul-searching and high-quality conversation with men that I aspire to be like, where I’m very comfortable with letting my emotions, or flaws, be exposed. I know, in my journey to share these stories with you, that I can play a big part in someone’s life to help them redirect their life toward something more positive or beneficial by being open and honest about my struggles. You will hear much more depth and breadth in my podcast, where I’ll not only share more of my stories and insight, but by interviewing others and sharing resources like books and movies, you will hear from other people that have reached a place in their life where it has become far less about looking strong and capable, and more about using our struggles to make our lives better and more fruitful as a result.
Take a deep breath and let yourself become free of the defense mechanisms that have prevented you from feeling a great sense of connection with another person for so long.
It’s okay. We’re all fighting the same battle, more or less. You don’t have to go it alone!
The podcast is closer than you think, so I hope you’re ready to join me in this new adventure, and if you have any interest in being a part of a show, click here to let me know!